A personal reflection on Psalm 63
God’s Love Transcends Life Itself
My beloved psalm
Psalm 63 is absolutely one of my most cherished psalms. The beauty of it is that it exists in different forms: you can read it quietly in the Bible, as a poem or a narrative, but it has also been sung for centuries in the versified church version. Personally, I find the rendition by Second Chapter of Acts the most beautiful of all, especially the version sung by Matthew Ward. He sings, “my soul, search for Thee,” and uses the powerful words, “my flesh yearns for Thee.” Yearns—a word that signifies a deep longing, such a profound desire for fellowship with God.
A dry and thirsty land
This psalm speaks of a land that is dry and thirsty, without a single drop of water. How might we translate that image to our inner feelings and the longing for God?
Generally, my life is joyful and happy. But every person experiences periods when that joy fades into the background for a while. Sometimes the cause is quite simple: situations that bring sorrow into your life, for instance, through illness. That applies to myself or my wife, but it is even worse if one of your children or, certainly, your grandchildren is seriously ill. Such a time of sorrow is truly a ‘dry land’ for me. Of course, there is always the comfort and refreshment of the Holy Spirit. Nevertheless, you feel the pain, especially when something happens to your loved ones over which you have no influence, except to pray, hope, and wait.
Additionally, every Christian occasionally experiences spiritual dryness. You feel: I need to return to the Source, to completely dedicate my life to God again. This is not always a conscious process of estrangement from the Lord. It often happens because of the busyness of life, which prevents you from finding time to pray or you momentarily forget to read the Bible. Before you know it, your heart is too preoccupied with the matters of everyday life and the visible world, while the Lord precisely invites us to stay very close to Him, even during rush hour and when various issues are coming at you.
A thirsty land without water—yes indeed, I know that in my life too. Yet my longing remains, just as in Psalm 63: my heart yearns for You, so that I can be close to the Lord and experience His presence.
My wilderness period
David wrote this psalm when he was in the wilderness. I, too, know a phase in my life that I call a ‘wilderness period.’ This had to do with a situation that I and several other leaders in our church found ourselves in. There were all sorts of worries and problems within the leadership that we unfortunately couldn’t find a solution for.
Besides the worries in my family due to the illness of one of our grandchildren (who thankfully has made a full recovery), this was the saddest period of my life. That phase within the church was so difficult that for a long time I even lacked the desire to occupy myself with the things of God. But fortunately, our God is faithful. He sought me out again, and the longing to live with Him and serve Him rekindled. Eventually, we joined a very wonderful church, where we were received with love and great support.
Entering God’s sanctuary
One of the most crucial moments in my life is naturally my conversion. I came from a traditional faith where I believed what the Bible said, but I hadn’t yet experienced it. That happened when I was still young and came to conversion.
One of the subsequent highlights was receiving the filling with the Holy Spirit. Through prayer and faith, I received this filling, and with it, the gifts of the Spirit. Speaking in tongues is one of them, something I experience as a great blessing to this day. Furthermore, as a young man in my twenties, I was also baptized by immersion, which was a momentous blessing. Alongside this, I received a prophecy about my future: that the Lord would use me in His kingdom. I have been privileged to experience this up to the present day. So, amidst phases of apparent dryness, there are fortunately also ‘spring moments’ where you can drink from the Source and count God’s blessings.
The nature of the thirst for God
The psalm speaks of: “My soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You.” What exactly is the nature of this thirst for God? Is it spiritual, or rather existentially necessary?
I believe both are true. On the one hand, the human heart is always searching for the Source of life. Most have not yet found that Source in God because they either think He does not exist or they have a wrong image of God. Especially in certain circles, God is seen as a threat rather than a blessing.
But once you have come to know life in the Lord Jesus Christ, you know that there is no other way than to spiritually refresh yourself with His love. That is my experience, and therefore my thirst for God—”my soul thirsts for You”—is a daily desire to simply experience His presence. And of course, it is also existential. Every person struggles with giving direction to their life, making choices. It is entirely logical to involve God existentially in this. Hence, I consider it of great importance to involve God in my daily life concerning my family, my marriage, and all the other matters you encounter.
Musing in the night watch
Verses seven and eight describe how the psalmist thinks of God on his bed. He muses in his night watch over God’s special blessing and presence, but also about the dangers and uncertainties. Indeed, at night I often experience a stillness in which God speaks to me. For many people, the night is a time of darkness. Some do not even want to sleep because they find the silence and darkness threatening. I myself have no sleep problems; I am asleep before I can even turn over.
But every now and then, I wake up in the middle of the night, and I find that fine. Many people have trouble falling back asleep then, but I actually surrender to it. I notice that God begins to speak then. In the middle of the night, I have experienced God speaking, not only through songs and His Word but also through prophetic impressions. I am often surprisingly inspired to undertake things, call people, or seek God.
Sometimes I receive images that are important for understanding certain situations, not just for myself but also for others. The same applies to the words I receive then. For me, the night is a time to muse over God’s things in my life, but also to receive what God wants to give.
God’s lovingkindness
David speaks of God’s lovingkindness, which is better than life. Why is that so fundamental for me? The goodness of God is the ultimate reason for me to thank Him in every respect. Despite difficult situations, gratitude is paramount for me. When my wife and I pray together, we invariably begin with thanksgiving: thanks for life, thanks for health, thanks for all the blessings we have received throughout our lives.
But when we talk about God’s lovingkindness, it also relates to my image of God. My God is a Father to me. My earthly father was a good father; he was a good example for me to be a good father myself. But my heavenly Father is the ultimate example in this. He is a good God, a God of love and grace. I have experienced how He pours out His grace over my heart time and time again. If I make a mistake, say a wrong word, sin, or do something that is not right, I do not experience His strictness first and foremost, but precisely His lovingkindness, His goodness. When I speak to some people, they experience God as a bogeyman, someone who is threatening, who seeks to harm them and records every mistake. But that is not how I know God.
I have come to know Him through the Lord Jesus, and Jesus is my example, for He said, “Anyone who has seen Me has seen the Father.” If you ask what God looks like, I say: look at the face of Jesus. See how He is moved by people. See how He weeps at someone’s grave. See how He approached the poor and those who were struggling. That is the intent and the heart of God. My God is a God of lovingkindness, and I am very grateful for that.
Praise with lifted hands
We are allowed to praise God with lifted hands, even in times of trial. I have noticed that songs are sometimes more powerful than a sermon. What sometimes happens to me at night is that I wake up and suddenly a song, an old psalm, or an old hymn comes into my thoughts. I can hardly shake it—it just keeps resonating in my mind.
I have found that sermons are often forgotten. If you ask at the end of a service what the preacher talked about, people can often only give a brief summary, but the depth has often already vanished. I have experienced that worship, praise, and the song are a very powerful way to enter God’s presence and also to experience His goodness, even in the midst of oppression. Just think of Paul and Silas, who, as described in Acts, filled their night in prison with singing songs and thus experienced God’s presence.
Under the shadow of His wings
Verse eight speaks of the shadow of God’s wings—a beautiful image of comfort and protection. I have experienced that God’s presence is very defining for my life. I long for that presence, as I said, and as the psalm also names. In that presence of God lies His protection.
He is the One who, as stated in the Bible, like a hen, wants to gather her chicks under her. He says that about Jerusalem, and that is also an image for us: that we, as vulnerable people, may gather ourselves under the wings of the Lord, who protects us. Then you might say: yes, but bad things still happen? There is still sickness, isn’t there? Yes, but that is precisely the miracle of faith and the connection with God: that it is precisely in that situation that you experience His presence, protection, and comfort.
Stopping the mouth of the liar
This psalm also speaks of liars whose mouth must be stopped. I want to illustrate that with an image I recently received at night while I was reflecting on various matters.
In my mind, I suddenly saw someone dressed in a hoodie. Such a modern piece of clothing, often worn with the hood up, to avoid being recognized. In that night vision, I saw someone from the back wearing a black hoodie—and that black has a meaning. I did not see his face. The remarkable thing was that he had all sorts of flyers in his hands. At one point, he came to a detached house. He walked along the road, past various houses with a mailbox at the street side. I saw how he had a handful of flyers and kept putting one in such a mailbox. Those flyers stand for something. Because this man in the hoodie was only focused on negativity. He was busy with slander, accusation, and reproach. He only had words to tear the other person down.
That is the lie that must be stopped for me: when the enemy, whose face you often do not recognize but who is dressed in black, puts a flyer in your mailbox. That slander that comes at me, that accusation that I should listen to, the voices in my head that say, “You haven’t made anything of it, what is your life worth anymore?”—then I can say: do not engage with that, but silence that voice. Should such a flyer have ended up in your mailbox: tear it up and do not let it play any role in your life whatsoever.
A blessing for you
I have lived a long life and have reached an age where, looking back, I can see many blessings from God. I hope that these experiences, which I have described in this way, may be of great significance in your life, so that you will be encouraged by them and, like me, may truly experience God’s blessing in your own life.
I bless you with it. And I am happy and grateful that Psalm 63, which has meant so much to me, will also gain meaning for you.
@ Wim van Putten