The I-counter
Success is not claimed as one’s own achievement, but attributed to God’s grace.
The Me culture
It is a classic moment in Dutch television history: the gentlemen of Veronica Inside are sitting at their familiar bar, chuckling as they discuss a recent soccer gala. On the screen, we see Louis van Gaal giving a speech in his inimitable style. At the table with Wilfred Genee, Johan Derksen, and René van der Gijp, the “I counter” is brought out. Every time the coach refers to himself, a virtual cheer is heard. That clip became the symbol of Van Gaal’s enormous ego; the ultimate proof that anyone who constantly says ‘I’, ‘me’ and ‘my’ must be a true narcissist.
‘I’ as a sign of vulnerability
Without wanting to put Louis straight on the psychologist’s couch, it is actually quite fascinating that science takes a very different view of this. Research shows that an excess of self-references is usually not a sign of an inflated ego at all, but rather of deep insecurity.
Statistically speaking, it is often people who struggle with emotional stress, gloomy feelings, or self-doubt who refer to themselves most often. Actually, that makes sense: people who are not feeling good about themselves are simply more preoccupied with their own inner world. Psychologists call this self-focused attention. When you are mentally confused or feel socially uncomfortable, your gaze turns inward. You are constantly preoccupied with your own role, your own pain, and your own discomforts, but—paradoxically—also with your own success and popularity as a source of support. The world becomes small, and the “I” becomes the only lens through which you see.
Paul’s attitude to life
If you look at well-known preachers and global ministries, you often see this focus on the ‘self’ reflected in beautiful photos on the cover. The focus is on their organization, their reach, and their influence. They make themselves great. But compare that to the apostle Paul, and you see a completely different attitude. A completely different way of thinking and acting.
Because when Paul speaks about his faith or his relationship with Jesus, our Lord is always central. His language is not aimed at putting himself on a pedestal or polishing his own resume. He simply tells how he seeks God and how he tries to make that life with God tangible for the people around him. His motto? “Not I, but Christ.” That is the core of everything he does.
The crucified self
In his letters, such as in Galatians 2:20, Paul explains what he means by that “crucified self.” That is what he believes is most important: that we are crucified with Christ. But what does that mean in practice? In fact, he says that we must renounce our own interests as soon as we start following Jesus.
“I no longer live, but Christ lives in me,” he writes. Those are quite some words. It is the end of your own autonomy, the end of that ego that always wants to be in first place. But note: this is not a plea to make yourself invisible or to efface yourself in the sense of “I am nothing.” You sometimes see that in certain circles, but that is not what Paul means. On the contrary. He says that you are allowed to be there, but in the right proportion. It is a life of dependence. Your “I” does not disappear, but gets a new source: Jesus.
Work hard, but not on your own strength
Paul was certainly not a reserved type. He readily admits that he worked very hard—sometimes even harder than the rest. He knew his worth and what he had achieved in spreading the gospel. But then comes a decisive detail. In 1 Corinthians 15:10, he says: “Not I, but the grace of God.”
That is the lesson for all of us, no matter how wonderful your position or your talent may be. We may take up that space, but with the realization that we are not doing it on our own strength. Paul is very honest about this in his letters to the Philippians and the Corinthians: his strength is revealed precisely in his weakness. He knows that if his words have an impact, it is not because of his eloquence, but because of the Spirit working through them. And the result is impressive: two thousand years later, we are still reading his words.
An active conduit
Paul refuses to claim credit for his success. He sees himself as an instrument, a conduit. But make no mistake: this is not a passive role. It requires active commitment and a conscious choice to be led by the Spirit.
Where we let Louis van Gaal’s ego meter run wild, Paul shows a very different score. If you count how often he refers to Christ in his letters, you come up with more than three hundred times. Three hundred! His focus is crystal clear. Words such as “in Christ” and “through Christ” are the common thread throughout his writing.
The old has passed away
For Paul, the “old man” must make way for the “new.” In his letter to the Colossians, he uses the image of clothing: it is as if you take off an old, worn-out coat and put on a brand-new one. Today’s ‘me’ culture, that “me, me, me” mentality, is diametrically opposed to everything Paul stood for. Precisely because he did not put himself on a pedestal, but trusted God completely, he became one of the most influential figures in history. He resolutely left his old life behind and chose to be led by the Spirit. That is what really made an impression; he did not need to be in the spotlight himself.
@ Wim van Putten