Trust Me
Manipulation and religious extremism unraveled in the series ‘Trust Me‘
Too bizarre
I’m currently watching a series on Netflix called: Trust Me – The False Prophet. It’s a gripping series about a small group of extreme Mormons, in which one man imagines himself to be a prophet and receives direct revelations from God. He uses these in a manipulative way to control an entire group of women and marry them. Too bizarre for words, yet things like this do happen.
Give back
Isaiah 42:22 contains a poignant passage about a people who have been robbed and plundered. There was no one who said, “Give back.” Partly because of this series, I delved into manipulation and control in society, the family, and the church. When you explore this, you are confronted with serious abuses. It reveals how dark forces keep people in a stranglehold in all sorts of areas. This happens outside the church, but I emphatically state that it also takes place within the churches of Christ. Or in extreme cults, as in this series.
Unfortunately, this form of sorcery does not pass us by. The letter to the Galatians already warns against this. These spiritual forces exert their influence in church pews and families. Anyone who opens their eyes to this and receives the gift of discerning spirits sees the immense need. There are many people walking around who are emotionally and spiritually broken by what has happened to them. After years of struggle and disappointment, they lack the courage to demand what is rightfully theirs.
So much has been stolen from people’s lives. This happens in friendships, between parents and children, within families, and in the workplace. The church is no exception. In such a situation, you come under intense pressure. People appeal to your emotions to ask you to do things that don’t suit you. You do things you don’t want to do or simply can’t do. It makes you feel utterly miserable. There is enormous peer pressure or personal influence from the leader or a group to which you belong.
Spiritual blackmail
We often see forms of spiritual blackmail that are packaged in a very pious way. Someone says that you must be willing to do this for the other person if you truly love them. A parent claims that your behavior is making them sick: “You’re a thorn in my side.” In church, you sometimes hear that whoever loves the Lord must listen blindly to his pastor or leaders without criticism. People then claim that the leader is God’s anointed one and has heard it directly from Him.
This is how they put pressure on you. The consequences are severe. Something precious is stolen from you. You lose your joy, your spontaneity, and your openness. Traumatic events lead to deep disappointment and conflict. You feel misunderstood or even excluded. It marks you for life.
The signals from the counseling field are clear. People leave their churches because of situations like this. Alongside all the good that fortunately also exists, many, unfortunately, go through life wounded. It is telling that more and more books are being published on this subject. People are desperate for pastoral or psychological help. They are looking for a listening ear because they feel left out in the cold. In his book about former evangelicals, Otto de Bruijne describes harrowing examples in which believers recount how manipulation destroyed their lives.
Their personalities took a severe beating. They gave their best years to the church and became burned out. Eventually, they left in disappointment because there was no understanding whatsoever for their situation. What remained was painful isolation. Because of their wounds, they no longer dare to seek out a new church. The fear of being hurt again runs too deep.
The grip of structures
Due to a lack of freedom, domineering leaders, and stifling obligations, you become trapped in structures and expectations. What was once presented as liberation later turned out to be a straitjacket. The freedom of the Spirit then gives way to the law. People’s behavior is determined by the unwritten codes of the church. You crave the approving nod and fear the disapproving glance or being ignored. It happens, and it leaves people lonely and broken.
Manipulation and control are expressions of powers that pressure people through fear. People are afraid of losing their grip on a child or losing control over a situation in the family or the church. At the core of this hostility lies the theft of your personal freedom.
The price for this power game is high. Families are torn apart, and marriages are constantly under strain. Some churches split because the spirit of manipulation is given free rein. No one dared to say, “This is as far as it goes, and no further.” No one called out that the other person had to give everything back. Every person faces this; no one is completely immune to it.
The path to restoration
Fortunately, it doesn’t have to stay this way once you gain insight into spiritual reality. With this knowledge, you can examine your own heart. In this miniseries, some women managed to escape the leader’s stranglehold after their eyes were opened. Fortunately, they found a listening ear, which helped them regain their freedom. As partners, parents, and church members, we can examine our own behavior. You can ask yourself how much freedom you give to others. Do you allow your neighbor to be themselves and make their own decisions? Leaders must consider whether they are lifting a yoke from people’s shoulders or, on the contrary, placing it upon them.
The answer to manipulation is simple yet powerful: break free as soon as you see through its spellbinding effect. Do not accept this spiritual yoke any longer. You are called to live in freedom. There are many passages that urge us to go the extra mile and give our all, but that must never come at the expense of your own being.
I seek personal freedom under the guidance of the Spirit of God. No human being can take that away. Seek God and let Him determine your inner being. Break free from unhealthy dependence on people. Proverbs 29:25 teaches us that fear of people is a trap, but whoever trusts in the Lord is unshakable.
Stay close to your own heart. There God reveals His thoughts to you through His Word and His Spirit. In your heart lies the source of life. Seek the fresh and original anointing of the Spirit. Seek your first love and never let it be stolen from you again. Do what He tells you. What others think of it is not the deciding factor. Your conscience is the standard. Be transparent and seek authenticity. When you share that with the people around you, you become a source of inspiration.
No yoke of slavery
Set boundaries and dare to have your own opinion. Dare to say “no.” Confront those who try to take away your freedom. Do so lovingly and respectfully, but hold fast to who you are. Draw that line and say, “This far and no further.” Where you have lost a piece of yourself, you may stand in your right. Tell the enemy to give everything back. Stand firm and do not let a yoke of slavery be imposed on you again.
Trust me, unfortunately, you cannot trust everyone. That is why the Bible says in 1 John 4:1: “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God; for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (Revised Standard Version)
According to this text, the reason is simple: not everything that appears to be spiritual or religious actually comes from a good source. The Bible encourages believers to use their discernment and to test messages against the love and truth of God.
@ wimvanputten