In conversation with
Bob Hofmans
A life of grace
Part 2
Here is a summary of part 1: Born in Maastricht in 1939, he grew up in Rotterdam-IJsselmonde, enjoying an adventurous childhood in the polders. After his military service, he worked at Verolme Machinefabriek, where conversations with his colleague Piet about faith triggered him to study the Bible himself. This led to a radical conversion—the gospel sank from his head into his heart. The transition from the Reformed Church to the Pentecostal Church caused a painful rift with his parents, especially at his baptism. But later things worked out. Years later, in his mother's family Bible, he found a school magazine from 1948: “Jesus is born, Jesus is the boss.” He developed a vision of the Kingdom of God as a real reality. For him, faith means freedom in Christ: living by the Spirit, not under the law.
Faith is not a theory, but living in the power of the Spirit.
A glimpse of eternity
I had a very special experience after major heart surgery in 2011. I regularly had cardiac arrests – I would fall to the ground at the strangest moments. I would be completely unconscious for a moment, but after a few seconds or minutes I would come to. Eventually, I had a pacemaker fitted as a result.
During one of those times when I was unconscious—you could say I was dead for a moment, because my heart had stopped beating—I had a special experience. I was in a space that resembled a spaceship, a round sphere with round windows through which you could look outside. I was very conscious there, very present, I was just living. But I felt the need to think back to my earthly life for a moment.
And I discovered that I couldn’t. On the inside of that sphere were lots of little drawers, like the ones you used to find in pharmacies. I opened all those drawers, but there was nothing in them. I understood that – at least, that’s how I interpret it – that when you are in God’s Kingdom, with the Lord, you no longer have any memory of the past. Of what has been.
I have not been to heaven—there are people who claim to have been. I have not had that experience. But I did have a special moment when I was with God and actually longed to return to earth, and it turned out that earth did not exist there.
It didn’t frighten me for a moment. I have never known fear when it comes to the spiritual world. The message that you are saved, that Jesus is your Savior, has freed me from all fear in that area. Death no longer frightens me.
Saved by grace
What I have realized very strongly for some time now, and still do, is that I live by grace. There is not a single thing I can think of that I have accomplished myself when it comes to my spiritual life. It is always God who has put me on the path, God who has saved me – also in my natural life.
One of the moments that gave my faith a huge boost happened when I was driving on the highway towards our vacation home. I was driving at 100 kilometers per hour and, near Nijkerk, I realized that I was losing consciousness. It wasn’t happening quickly, but very consciously. I was shocked: this is bad, I’m driving at 100 kilometers per hour and losing consciousness. It was a brief moment, then I was really out.
I only came to when the car came to a stop. The engine had stopped and I was a few meters from a ditch, on the side of the highway on a country road. It’s really like turning a light switch on and off. The switch flipped and I was out. The switch flipped and I was fully conscious again. I knew nothing about the intervening period.
Apparently, I drove onto the emergency lane, next to the guardrail. Where the guardrail went into the ground, I turned right and stopped in front of the ditch. I knew nothing about it. It was completely beyond my control. I can only say that either the Lord sent me an angel to do it, or He did it Himself. Now I feel like nothing can happen to me anymore. That was very special.
Spiritual struggle
I think there is always a struggle. A struggle that you will continue to experience until the end of your life, because you live in a world that is not ruled by God, but by the powers of darkness. Jesus says to Pilate, “My kingdom is not of this world.” With that, He clearly indicates that someone else is pulling the strings in the world.
For me, that struggle remains, but now I have a different attitude toward it. I now have more of a victorious attitude—as it is also referred to in the Bible. Victors in Christ, of course. That struggle, yes, I now also know the powers of darkness to some extent. I know what tactics they use. Because of that, because of my life with the Lord, I am better armed against it, or better warned. It is still there, but I am more resistant to it.
When I first came to faith in the 1960s, there was a sense of change in the world. The world was very unchristian, and as a Christian you were clearly recognized and sometimes even despised a little. Because of that, you fought more of a spiritual battle. When I look around in church today, I no longer see that spiritual battle as I knew it. I experience the life of the average Christian as someone who believes, is born again, follows Jesus, but does not so much live out of the power of the Holy Spirit.
Coincidentally, I recently searched the internet for an evangelist I know from the past: Bart Doornweerd. He said, “I am of service in the congregation, in the church of Christ, in the power of the Holy Spirit.” From that perspective, from that attitude, he was able to proclaim the gospel and help people. That power – “serving in the power of the Holy Spirit” – means that you are of service to your fellow believers, but that is not a submissive attitude, not a “me in my little corner” attitude. Because you live from the power of the Holy Spirit, you can also be strong as a Christian.
Service instead of superiority
Someone once asked me if saying that you have the Holy Spirit and others do not could lead to a feeling of superiority. It certainly could. And I have experienced it myself a few times, thinking: that attitude is condescending, you are standing above the other person. And that is not the intention. You are called to be a servant. We can serve the people of the world—Jesus did that too. If you stand above them, I don’t think you’ve understood it correctly.
If you have the Holy Spirit—that is the Spirit of Christ—then that changes your attitude into a servant role rather than a superiority complex. In the Pentecostal church I now belong to, there is a very pleasant atmosphere. I notice very clearly that the elders act in a spirit of service to the congregation. I have also known situations where a pastor or elders placed themselves above the congregation and made that very clear. I don’t think that’s the intention.
Inspiring people
There is one name I absolutely must mention when it comes to people who have enriched my life: Jo van de Brink. He was a teacher of the gospel—he is no longer alive. He himself came from a Reformed church, came into contact with the Pentecostal movement, went to study, studied the Bible with his wife, and they came to spiritual insights that have inspired me.
In particular, this man’s contact with his heavenly Father and the insights he had gained into the Kingdom of God, into the spiritual world, its reality – these have helped me enormously in my thinking. If one name must be mentioned, it is his.
“Strangely enough, I notice to this day that he is reviled by many people. I don’t understand that, because he taught me to better understand the Kingdom of God; it has enriched my life.”
Doubt and certainty
Someone once asked me if I ever had doubts. Perhaps at crucial moments, but I can’t really remember. Doubts about my salvation? No, certainly not. Never.
Of course, you sometimes have doubts in your natural life, when you don’t know exactly what choice to make. But those are more the ordinary questions of life, simpler things really. Often you can consult with your heavenly Father. That is the first aid for a Christian.
I am now at an age where I realize that I have had the longest time on earth. I am convinced that a favorable future awaits me. So I don’t have much trouble with that. All kinds of things happen in your life, but my life is in the hands of the Lord. When I die, I will end up in a good place. I would like to live for a while longer, and I do my best to spread the gospel as much as possible.
Lessons from a lifetime
With the knowledge I have now, I might have done some things differently. I think the most important thing is my attitude toward fellow believers. In the past, when we went out to evangelize as young people, I had a somewhat patronizing tone. I spoke to people about the gospel—with the best of intentions, because you wanted people to get to know Jesus—but it was a kind of “foot in the door and they had to listen” mentality.
I would certainly not use that method anymore. Over the years, it became very clear that evangelism is much more personal: relationships with people, acquaintances, family, in your church. Not ringing the doorbell and saying, “Now comes the gospel.” That also has to do with age and character.
Now, when I go to church, most people are younger than me. I have a wait-and-see attitude, because I believe that God will use every person—even if you are old—in His service, in His Kingdom. I think my calling is to be a teacher, a Bible teacher. I can tell people a lot, but I prefer to wait until I clearly see that God wants to use me for something.
This has happened a number of times in the congregation. Elders came to me and asked me to do a task: preach the gospel, give testimony, lead communion, open or close a service. I take the attitude that I am open to people’s questions. And I notice that people also come to me because of my age and experience in the faith and ask, “What do you think about that? What is your opinion?”
It is not passive, but more expectant, supportive. I see young people who really have potential, and when they ask me, I say, “Please let them go first, the younger group.”
Grace
When I look back on my life, from baptism to now, there is one word that sums it all up: grace. Grace in my preservation during dangerous moments. Grace in the people God brought into my life. Grace in the freedom I found in Christ. Grace in my relationship with my heavenly Father.
In retrospect, I clearly see the hand of the Lord, who has preserved me in many ways—physically, but also spiritually. That I did not slip into wrong things or end up in wrong situations. Everything is grace.
And in that regard, I can say with certainty: nothing can happen to me anymore. I live by grace, and it will remain that way until the end of my days.
@Wim van Putten