In conversation with
Assie Friso
Part 2
In Part 1, we read how Assie, a native of Friesland, left her familiar surroundings in Workum for an unknown adventure in the Middle East. Her path led her through Youth for Christ and missionary work to a deep calling for the Arab peoples. She spoke candidly about her first steps in Bahrain, her meeting with Piet van Walsem, and the founding of Desert Stream. For Assie, serving “Ishmael” was not an abstract concept, but a daily reality of prayer and presence. Where others saw walls, she saw opportunities to share God's love. In this sequel, we look at the years that followed: from powerful prayer conferences in Dubai to the quiet but hopeful encounters on the street that gave meaning to her work.
From Workum to Dubai
Return to the Netherlands
Two years ago, God began to speak clearly. Assie was 65 and already thinking, “I need to train another generation.” Then she received the very clear words, “In two years, you will return to the Netherlands.” “I knew it was from God because I had such peace.”
She already had a young couple, a new generation, in mind to take over the work. “We had been together for years and had done a lot of work together. And I knew: this is a season that is coming to an end and a new phase in my life is beginning.”
Now, after 27 years, she was returning. “27 years is a long time, so first I’m going to rest.” She had to start looking for a house again. “I’m going to a completely different part of the country, because God said: you’re not going back to Haarlem at all, you’re going to leave for another place, which turned out to be the Veluwe.”
Her principle is clear: “If I want to find a house, I must first have a spiritual home. And so she found her spiritual home in Putten. First a spiritual home and then an earthly home.”
Through the valley of deep darkness
But Assie’s story also has a deep valley. When she worked in missions, all doors opened. “For teaching, I could speak everywhere in churches, in the Netherlands but also abroad.” She had leadership qualities, a big heart for God. But she suffered burnout and eventually ended up in a severe depression.
“God was very far away from me. I was deeply ashamed because I thought: I have taught about prayer, given out prayer keys to open people’s hearts, but I couldn’t save myself.”
At her lowest point, she had a special encounter with God. “I noticed that Calvinism was still very present in me, always wanting to do good for God… working hard… But by working hard, even in missions, you can also want to gain approval.”
It turned out that for years she had been living with a mechanism: working hard to subconsciously gain approval. “Approval from people, but also approval from God. That He is very pleased with you. And I always thought that people should just persevere, with a Calvinistic heart. You want to be in control, but in fact there is just a deep insecurity underneath.”
This discovery was painful: “I was a worker for God, but I didn’t really know what it meant to be His daughter. I knew it in my head, but not in my heart.”
She had always had a dream for a house of prayer, and then she got it. But then she got sick and the couple who were helping her had to take over. “God said, ‘It’s not your baby, it’s My baby.’”
In her darkest moment, she said to God, “Even if I never return to ministry, even if I have to spend my life sticking stamps and pouring coffee, there is only one thing I really want back: my relationship with You. Not as a worker, but as a daughter. That loving relationship, that relaxation and surrender that lies within it.” “That changed my life. I started praying differently. I was always the ‘warrior’. That’s in my character. But you can only really be a warrior if you have seen the love and goodness of God.”
“I’ve been bombarded with that text: ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’ But that can also become your pitfall. God will give you strength for the things He asks of you. An intercessor sometimes wants to save the world.” And then you take on a burden that God never placed on you.
A message for people with depression
Assie has a powerful message for people struggling with depression. “God is much greater than depression. Where no one can reach you, where no counselor can help you, God can reach you. Ultimately, you will end up with Jesus.”
“Depression very often has a cause. For me, it was that I was insecure about many things, while I wanted to be a strong leader. Then you unconsciously start to put on a front. So that had to be addressed. God did that.” The turning point came when she let go of everything. “The moment I surrendered it all… I was still holding on, I just didn’t want to be depressed, I couldn’t let go of the house of prayer. You even want to keep control of your own life.” “‘You have to learn to let go: Can you give it to Me?’ When you go that deep, there is only one left: that is Jesus and you.”
From fame to anonymity
Now, back in the Netherlands, Assie is experiencing something special. “In Dubai, I had a name, I was known among Christians. Now I come here, I walk into Living Hope, but I have no name at all, no one who knows me and my history. They don’t even know who I am, what I’ve done. And I love it. I don’t have an identity crisis. I just know… my identity lies in Someone else, not in what you do and who you are.”
Last week, the couple who took over her work led the big annual conference in Dubai for the first time without her. “It went so incredibly well. They did such a good job. They are stretching themselves, and I think they will soon take it to an even better dimension. I see that the child is growing up, and I rejoice in that.”
Spiritual fathers and mothers
Assie sees a specific calling for the future. “I believe that what the church and young people need are spiritual fathers and mothers.” Her example is Mordechai, who set Esther free for a higher calling, which could be found at all the entrances to the palace. “He sent her messages: ‘Esther, I think you are comfortable, but you must get up.’ ‘ Standing up for this generation. That is how Assie sees her future. She wants to be a mentor, a spiritual mother. “I have seen so much over the years, learned so much, and also gone through a process within myself. I want to pass something on, preferably to someone from another generation, so that I can work with someone.”
Bethel and Peniel
Assie talks about two kinds of experiences. “Everyone wants that Bethel experience, that beautiful, amazing experience with God. Jacob had such a moment, the heavens opened: ‘Oh God, You are awesome.’ That’s what we all want. But that’s not reality.”
“You also need Peniel—wrestling with God. Jacob was so afraid of his brother, he feared for his own life. He had to fight it out. He limped, he has a scar.” That struggle in your life can sometimes leave a scar.
“If our Christian life were only Bethel, we would not grow. But you also need that Peniel experience. If you only have the Peniel experience and you don’t have the Bethel experience, then you have to ask yourself what you are missing.”
Finishing the race
Looking back on her life, Assie wouldn’t have wanted to do anything differently. Yes, she ignored the orange lights that led to her depression. “God could have healed me in one fell swoop. But I think the whole process and everything that went with it… that changed my life.” “The anointing on your life is a gift from God, but your character must be able to bear God’s anointing. We often look at people who have a great ministry. But if your character is not in line with your anointing, then at some point you will collapse.”
Her greatest wish for the end of her life? “When I die, I hope people will say, ‘She was someone who truly loved Jesus.’”
After 28 years in the Middle East, with all its highs and lows, Assie has brought the Father’s love to the wounded baby Ishmael. And that love has also healed her own wounds. In doing so, she has discovered for herself what it means to be not only a worker, but above all a daughter.
@Wim van Putten