In conversation with
Irma van Ommen
Part 2
In part 1, we read about Irma, who still looks youthful despite her respectable age. Her life story begins with the complex history of her mother, who was impregnated by a German officer in 1943. Irma's mother, who herself had a history of rejection, gave birth alone in Bremerhaven. Her father gave her a terrible name, which was changed to “Irma” by a maternity nurse.
After a hasty return to the Netherlands, Irma grew up in Amsterdam with a man who accepted her as his daughter. Despite the love, feelings of rejection from previous generations lingered. At the age of fifteen, Irma came to a rock-solid faith after a traumatic experience, after which she gave her heart to Jesus. Later, she met Jan van Ommen, her youth leader and soul mate. After nine years of childlessness and a loving marriage, they had two children and opened their hearts and home to foster children.
From rejection to unshakeable faith
Freed from family ties
In their church in Amersfoort, they attended a Bible study on rejection and abandonment. “I recognized so much of myself in that,” says Irma.
During a church week in Nunspeet, two elders came to talk to them. “They said, ‘Irma, we feel led to tell you that it is good to break that spiritual bond with your mother. Because your mother has such a claim on you.’ I was always open to it. So that’s what happened.”
What happened next was amazing. A woman from the church came to them. “She said, ‘I have received a word and an image from the Lord.’ No one knew that I was my mother’s first child, let alone that it was from a German.”
The woman described an image: “She saw a forest path, very dark, with tall trees. On both sides she saw soldiers, heavily armed, but they were not Dutch soldiers. At the end of that path she saw someone on a throne.”
And she says: “The moment the eldest cut the ties, it was like a slide change. Then there was abundance and she saw that path again, now beautiful and illuminated by the sun. The throne was deserted, the throne and the army had both disappeared.” From that moment on, there was a separation from her mother. “She grew old, but refused any contact with Jan and me. To my deep sorrow, there was no reconciliation before her death. Her mother had never accepted Jan. ‘I should have married someone else, someone who was a preacher. And what is Jan?’ But I was above that,” says Irma.
Jan helped Irma blossom. “Jan gave me a lot of affirmation. People who know me now don’t believe that at all. They see me as a go-getter. But that’s not the right word. I realize that I have to live dependent on the Lord and that He is the one who gives me strength.”
At one point, their son went to a therapist. “Mom, I need to seek help,” he said to me, “because I’m becoming more and more like Grandma, and I don’t want that.” In therapy, he was asked to write down his family history. When the therapist had read it, he remarked, “But then your mother must have undergone a lot of therapy.” My son shook his head: “No, my mother has worked through everything with God.”
The greatest trial
The most difficult period was not Jan’s death, but what happened to their daughter. A friend took her to a youth church in Utrecht called Gods Pleasure. This religious group later came under considerable scrutiny because of questionable practices. It was a hard rock church where some members were advised to break ties with family members or other critical contacts outside the group.
It happened very quickly. In no time, our daughter wanted to go there every evening. Meanwhile, my husband Jan had realized how extreme the views of this group were. He had obtained the Bible studies and took them to various national leaders to warn them about this dangerous sect. It even led to a hearing. It’s terrible to look back and see how much damage this cult has caused.
“I just sat at home crying, because when you lose a daughter and a son after ten years, it hurts you deeply.” Their son no longer wanted to serve the Lord. “He would sometimes stand in front of us and say, ‘Well, if there was a God, this wouldn’t have happened to you. You’re raising other people’s children. Look, your own child is going to hell.’” In the cult, Irma was accused of terrible things: God had said that Irma van Ommen was the woman Jezebel.
Rumors spread. “There were even rumors that we were going to get divorced. Our daughter called us, completely distraught: ‘Are you getting divorced?’” This cult has caused a great deal of damage to families. Many young people have been misled and abused, and turned against their parents.
But miracles do happen. “After some time, a cautious recovery began. Contact with our daughter became more regular again. Deep down, she had never really left us, but the influence of the sect had completely distorted her image of our family and of us as parents. Slowly, beautiful memories from her childhood began to resurface, memories of the good times we had had as a family. After 32 years of praying and hoping, we recently had contact with our daughter again. But in situations like this, a passage from God’s Word comes to mind: that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the powers of darkness.”
The rain barrel with eels
A woman from their circle of acquaintances was deeply concerned about this difficult situation with their children. She said, “You are such a beautiful, wonderful couple. How can your children and your foster children turn against you like this? May I pray for this for a while?”
After a month, she came back. “She said, ‘I had a vision, a kind of revelation. I saw a rain barrel full of eels.’ Jan and I both started laughing out loud, because we both love eels. ‘I saw Jan walking toward that barrel, rolling up his sleeves and reaching into that barrel full of eels. But you can’t grab those eels with your bare hands.’” And that’s exactly what happened to Irma. Then the lady said, “I suddenly had a vision of the father of the prodigal son. The father stood on the lookout and you can bet he prayed. But he didn’t go and sit among the pigs. In other words, he didn’t go looking for his son in the misery he was in, but stood on the lookout and waited until he came himself. And actually, the Lord says: no more activities. Let go. Let go of all your problems and give them to Me.'”
Jan’s death
Jan lived to be 82. Even the staff at the hospital noticed something special. The cardiologist said to Irma, “You’ve touched the whole department. How positive you were.”
When Jan was dying, Irma prayed with him. “I took Jan’s hand and said, ‘Jan, I’m going to pray with you. And I closed my eyes.“ The doctor started shouting, ”There he goes!“ Irma opened her eyes. ”I prayed, ‘Lord, thank You for this wonderful man. For all those years of happiness.’“ And because of his weakness, Jan could only speak softly and said, ”Thank You, Lord, for all those years of happiness.”
Later, the doctor told her what he had heard. He said, “Do you know what happened? When you prayed—Jan, I entrust you to your Savior whom you love so much—Jan opened his eyes and winked at you. And when you said, ‘I release you and bless you,’ he passed away.” The doctor exclaimed, “This is a miracle! Have you ever experienced anything like this?” There were tears in everyone’s eyes. “To which I said,” Irma recounts with a smile, “then I missed his last loving wink.” In all his brokenness and his Parkinson’s disease, Jan has been a great witness through his positivity, his humor, and his charisma.
A foundation that endures
“When you ask, ‘Have you mourned?’” Irma reflects, “I once heard someone say, ‘I fell into such a pit. I myself never fell into the pit. Because my foundation is Christ. And that is such a solid foundation.”
“That wedding text says that we are safe in Him. That gives peace and deep tranquility amid all of life’s worries.”
After a life full of rejection and abandonment, full of pain and sorrow, but also full of victories and grace, Irma stands strong. Not broken, but whole. Not bitter, but free.
Through all the filth that has come upon us, we have been able to hold on to the Lord and our faith by grace. Despite all the difficulties and pain in this life, we have still been able to maintain love for people. We have remained forgiving and have not become bitter. We have noticed that love rises above it all. Not from ourselves, but through the love of Jesus Christ, who is the Lord of our lives.
@Wim van Putten