The doctor came in…
The message
The coffee grew cold in Tessa’s hands as she stared at her phone screen. The message from her sister hit her like a bomb: “Luuk has a tumor in his liver. Come to the hospital!!!”
Luuk, her one-year-old nephew with his radiant smile and those curly blonde hairs. The child who always stretched out his arms to her when she visited. How could something so innocent be so sick? Tessa’s world seemed to stand still. Around her, normal life continued – people walked by on the street, cars drove past, the sun still shone – but for her, everything was different. In one fell swoop, her entire life was torn apart.
The ordeal
At the hospital, Tessa found her sister Marleen. She looked lost and fragile in a large plastic chair next to Luuk’s cot. Her brother-in-law Mark stood by the window, his hands clenched into fists, as if he wanted to fight something invisible. “Why?” Marleen whispered when she saw Tessa. “Why does this have to happen? He’s so small, he hasn’t done anything wrong yet.” Tessa had no answer. What do you say to so much pain? She wrapped her arms around her sister and felt them both tremble with grief and powerlessness.
The doctor came in with test results and treatment plans. Words like chemotherapy, prognosis, and survival chances filled the hospital room. Tessa watched as Marleen and Mark tried to understand everything, clinging to every little bit of hope.
The struggle
The weeks that followed were one big blur of hospital visits, sleepless nights, and tears. Tessa saw how the illness not only affected Luuk but the entire family. Marleen became thin and pale, Mark desperately threw himself into his work, and their older son Tim started having problems at school.
“I don’t understand,” Marleen said one evening when they were sitting together in the hospital restaurant. “Where is God in all of this? If He really exists, why does He allow this?” Tessa struggled with the same questions. She had always believed, but now her faith felt very vulnerable, as if it could break at any moment.
Unexpected strength
It was Marleen’s neighbor, Mrs. De Vries, who changed something. The elderly woman came by with soup and bread and just sat there when Marleen burst into tears. “My granddaughter also had cancer,” she said calmly. “I thought then that God had abandoned me. But slowly I learned that the question is not why this happens, but who is with you while it happens.”
She took a Bible from her bag and read about King David, who also went through dark times but found strength in God. “David strengthened himself in the Lord his God,” she read. “Not because everything suddenly got better, but because he knew he wasn’t alone.”
Small glimmers of hope
Slowly, small glimmers of hope began to appear. Luuk responded well to the treatment. Tim received help at school and started smiling again. Marleen and Mark found support from other parents in the hospital who were going through the same thing. Tessa noticed that she grew stronger by caring for others. She organized a fundraiser for the Ronald McDonald House Groningen and saw how the entire neighborhood helped. In the darkest time, she discovered sides of herself she had never known.
“It’s not that I understand now why all this had to happen,” Marleen said to Tessa during one of Luuk’s treatments. “But I’ve learned that I don’t have to be alone in my grief. There are people who care about me, who carry me when I can’t stand anymore.”
Hope
A year later, Tessa was back in the same hospital restaurant, but now the atmosphere was different. Luuk’s treatment had been successful. He was still vulnerable, but his eyes sparkled again, and he babbled cheerfully in his stroller.
Marleen still looked tired, but something had changed. A calmness that wasn’t there before. “I’m not the same person as before Luuk got sick,” she told Tessa. “The grief has torn me apart but also shaped me. I’ve learned that you can live with unanswered questions, as long as you know you’re not alone.”
Tessa nodded. She too had changed through this experience. She had learned that faith doesn’t mean you have all the answers, but that you dare to trust despite all the questions. We need each other when it’s dark, waiting for the light, and believing that we are not alone – even if all the “whys” remain unanswered.
“David however strengthened himself in the Lord his God.” – 1 Samuel 30:6
This little story actually tells our own tale. We also had a grandchild, who was one year old at the time, and had to undergo surgery at the UMC Groningen for a large tumor in her liver. This was preceded by horrific months of chemotherapy treatment at the Princess Máxima Center. Those were extremely tense times. After the operation, the surgeon came to us, relieved, in the hospital restaurant to tell us that this risky operation had been successful. He was visibly delighted, and we were no less so. We were so happy and grateful. Your world shakes. Not only the sorrow for that little one, but also seeing your son and daughter-in-law suffer in such a situation. We prayed so much during those months, but we found comfort in the words from God's Word. We strengthened ourselves in the Lord, just like David did. And now, our grandchild is a beautiful, healthy darling of ten, whom we enjoy immensely.
@wimvanputten